Nothing and Everything

Let's start out with a bit of review of this summer and then move on to what God is teaching so far this semester.

This past summer has been one of the hardest summers, if not the hardest summer, I have ever had. Every day was a battle to keep my footing. If you've ever gone wave jumping in the ocean, then you know how easy it is to drift away from the bit of ocean floor you started on. Every day there were waves crashing against me and I had to try to keep my footing. Ground was lost. Ground was gained. I was left reeling with another series of blows to come.

Church should be a sanctuary. A place you can turn to for encouragement when the world is attacking. I could not do that all summer. I had no haven of rest except for the arms of God, and I was having trouble seeing that through the salt spray. My one physical place of escape from the world was painfully jerked from me. In addition to all this were things like Wendy's, Dad being unemployed, and me trying to figure out how in the world I would ever make enough money to get back up here, let alone pay my bill.

In a lot of ways I was walking by faith (cuz I knew that would be all that would get me here!) but in a lot of ways I was doubting if God would actually bother to work in a great and mighty way in my life. He did by orchestrating events in the lives of people around me and events in my personal life and thus it was He got me back up here for this semester.

So, here I am into the second week of classes and I already felt weary from the steady attacks all summer, but God saw fit to keep me in the midst of trials instead of letting me have a break as I so desperately wanted.

For almost two solid weeks now I have been almost tormented by trying to figure out how I am going to pay school bills, what will happen if Dad can't find a job before unemployment runs out, and a slough of other things. With this, God was increasingly making me aware of different areas of sin in my life that I would not admit to, let alone confess and attempt to overcome. Then, last night the climax of it all came.

God showed me His might, His love, His mercy, His patience, and His holiness all it once. At Campus Church a message on sin was given and God showed me so many things that were flat out wrong with me and shouldn't be in my life to the extent that I marveled at how He could love me. To teach me some lessons, He let the weight of my problems, my concerns, my sins, and everything else begin to weigh down on me. There isn't even a chance it was the full weight of things, in fact I am sure it wasn't, but it was enough to make me see that His cross is lighter and His burden easier to bear than the burdens of this life. He showed me how much He does for me and how He carries my cares. It was such a humbling and amazing experience! I shall never forget it.

I walked away renewed, refreshed, and at feeling at least 10 pounds lighter. I also walked away with a greater love, appreciation, and respect for the marvelous God who has seen fit to love such despicable creatures as us and to send His Son to die for us.

I am nothing. He is everything.

What a wonderful God we serve!