Frustration...

Every once in a while I get insanely frustrated with something trivial. Today my frustration was diverted and changed course to be focused at a book my roomie is reading for a class. I can't say everything in the book I disagreed with, but I disagreed with the heart behind it. Mainly that there wasn't one. It was a book on relationships, but nothing was mentioned about love. From the parts read to me it seemed like a bush beating laundry list of relational do's and don't's. That's not a relationship.

Relationships are not based on convenience or "what you can do for me". At least, they shouldn't be. God's initial relationship with man was one that was based on love. Tragically, it was marred and we've never fully recovered from it. This book painfully brought that reality back to me. This list of do's and don't's was created, I'm sure, with the best of intentions. I'm sure it was meant to help (the various forms of relationships between men and women) and give pointers and suggestions, but the spirit of love was painfully absent.

When the author penned it he forgot the most important key ingredient in any healthy relationship - love. The book touched on relationships from general to intimate. When it got to the relationship between married couples and tried to explain and define the roles it talked of submission and deference, but I never noticed the word love.

I suppose it could have been assumed to be there, or taken for granted but if this was the case, it is almost more tragic it was omitted. Now I'm not married, but in observing the healthy relationship between my parents I can honestly say that love saturates every part of their married lives. From decisions on trivial things like where we should go out to dinner that Sunday and when we should leave for vacation; to what school they should put us children in and where they should go on their anniversary - each decision is made with the other (or others) in mind with the proper amounts of submission, deference, and love.

This book made it seem like this relationship was something very hard you have to work at. Maybe it is, but judging by the ease my parents seem to have in it, I'm not inclined to think so.

This leaves me thinking something is wrong somewhere and I'm not thinking it's with the twenty some odd years of marriage and three well raised children, but with the book.

The point? Well... there isn't much of one besides disliking the book severely. But, if I had to pick, I'd say that it is this: Any relationship based on rules and regulations has missed the point. It's not even a relationship. God does not come to us saying, "Here are my rules, obey them OR ELSE!" He doesn't force us to obey Him or obey His commandments. Instead, He invites us to love Him back. When we love anyone we try to make them happy by doing things that make them happy. We know what those are because we know them. Obviously none of us are talking or walking with God in a physical sense, so He gave us His book to tell us what he likes and dislikes and helps us know what it takes to please Him.

Of course I'm generalizing a little bit here, but essentially, that is it. He has laid out everything we need to know to love Him and know Him in the way He always meant us to.

Am I saying commandments are merely guidelines or suggestions? No! Good grief no! Am I saying God is primarily concerned with us following those rules? No. Because we can follow the rules and regulations perfectly all day long and it will get us no where if we don't love and desire to please Him first.

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P.S. This was not my great summer muse.