Merry Christmas!

Well, I've been pitifully neglectful of this dear blog, but never fear, I am here! ... just long enough to post and run away again. ;o)

Anyway...

This is one of my favorite times of year - the house is cluttered with wrapping paper, lights are... strewn, the mantle and various free spaces are occupied with a wide assortment of mangers, snowmen, and other Christmasy knick-knacks. In my CD player are Christmas CD's, and renditions of Christmas songs ranging from horrible to magnificent are being played by nearly every radio station. Even the mall is festooned in green, red, silver, and gold.

Everyone is busy shopping, kids are ticking off the days til they can tear open the wrapping paper to see what secrets it holds, and in spite of the less than ideal economy there is still Christmas. That is the wonder of this holiday - even though you may not be able to give the big expensive gifts you wanted to, even though you might not get that gift you've been eyeing for months now, it hardly matters. The point of Christmas is to celebrate the birth of a King. Sure, it's fun to get presents, give presents, and spread cheer but it is hardly the point.

Christmas is a global thanksgiving. The pagans and the redeemed alike get together with family and friends and whether they say it or not, they show they are thankful for the people that are around them and the blessings they've received. The redeemed has the added bonus of being thankful for Jesus' birth in that smelly, dirty manger 2,000 years ago.

It is easy, I confess, to get wrapped up (pun intended) in the gift exchanges, killer sales, and shiny objects which catch our eye; but let us not forget this year the reason it's called CHRISTmas.

You asked for it.

Well, we get our vote for toasters. Apparently the American people have lost their minds. We have voted in Obama, we have voted in a democratic house and senate. But hey, it looks like gay marriage might be banned in a few states.

I'm still trying to make heads and tails of this election, but I can't. It just doesn't add up. I suppose I overestimated the human American intellect.

Well folks, if you voted for this loser (or didn't vote at all) then you've gotten what you deserve. If this country becomes socialistic and we all go to the poor house remember - you're the dolts that asked for it. If your rights and liberties are taken away don't cry to me. You asked for it.

If we're so stupid to vote in Obama (who is only questionably a natural born American citizen, btw) then we've gotten precisely what we deserve.

Glad I'm just an ambassador here, or I'd be getting worried about now!

Obama-Biden 2008! A Vote for Toasters!

This is part of a transcript I read on rushlimbaugh.com.

RUSH: This next is unreal. Joe Biden was on the Today show talking to the hostette there, Meredith Vieira, who asked him, "What specifically will your tax plan do to boost the economy?"

BIDEN: Our tax plan would take that tax cut of another $130 billion that John wants to give to people making over $250,000 next year, not let it go forward and give it to the middle class, the very people who desperately need it to stay in their homes, to buy food, to take care of the gas to fill up their tank, to be able to go out and buy a toaster, to unemployed people.

RUSH: To go out and buy a toaster! Joe Biden, Obama will give you a toaster! Along with a rice cooker left over from the supply in Cuba that Fidel Castro failed to give away to all of his people. Obama is going to give you a toaster.

Yup! My unemployed dad is in dire need of going out and buying a toaster! Doesn't need health insurance, groceries, or money to pay the bills, but a toaster.

Obama-Biden 2008 - Our Hope For America.

I Will Not Forget

Seven years ago today the World Trade Towers were hit by two airplanes that had been hijacked by Islamic terrorists. Life in the United States changed that day in ways we have so quickly adjusted to that we have forgotten them.

I don't know about you, but the minute I got home from school I sat down and asked questions til I figured out precisely what happened, and then I watched as the news kept replaying those hours that changed our lives.

Since that fateful day I have been to New York City and I have stared into the gaping whole that was the Trade Towers. After seeing that colossal hole I cannot forget what happened. The mere size of it was amazing! Since that trip I have not been able to get out of my head the pictures and the reality of what happened, of what directly effected tens if not hundreds of thousands of people in a few short minutes.

Since that day I have known soldiers who have headed off to war. I have watched the faces of sons, husbands, daughters, and wives of people near me, flicker across my television. These are people like you and me that will NEVER come home.

I have listened and seen the world turn since that day and I have seen many people forget what happened and ignore it.

Well, I will not forget. I cannot forget. The images are burned into my memory clearly, deeply, vibrantly. My heart still aches when I think of the lives lost, my patriotism swells when I think of the soldiers who are fighting to keep it from happening again.

Heroes were made that day, and many more have been made since. I thank them, each and every one of them. You have my prayers, my thoughts, and my thanks.

I have not forgotten and I will not forget. I WILL REMEMBER.

When God Doesn't Answer

This was my great summer muse.

Where is God? Why isn’t He doing something about this? Why isn’t He keeping this from happening? ARE YOU THERE GOD? ARE YOU EVEN PAYING ATTENTION? Because it sure doesn’t seem like it…

Most of us have asked some variety of these questions at least once. I know I certainly have. Now I can talk myself back through my theology and remind myself that God is there. He’s always there. However, I had not quite settled on why He just stood by seemingly helpless or disinterested.

Why doesn’t He keep So-and-so from doing that hurtful thing?

Question: Why doesn’t God stop you from doing _______? Why doesn’t He intervene when you try to do _______?

Answer: Because He has given us free will and He loves us so much that He will not force us to do anything. He loves us and wants us to obey Him because we love Him. Not because He made us.

I know this, but I’m not a big mercy shower. I desire justice! Or at least thwarting of plans. It has frustrated me for years that He so seldom seems to interfere. It took me a while, but I suddenly realized one day that God sometimes does something more cruel than interfere or thwart. Sometimes He lets our plans work themselves out. Do you know what happens when our plans work themselves out? We end up in a very sticky, nasty, muddy, knotted tangle. We know very little. Our plans only work in a small, thoroughly controlled by us environment if we’re lucky. By letting our plans work themselves out in the very unpredictable world, God is pretty much just letting us set ourselves up for failure. Our plans end in failure. The end.

Fortunately for us, God is not the sort to look down His nose at us and say, “Ha! You silly people! Serves you right!” and then walks away. Instead, He untangles the mess, pulls the pieces of debris from our hair and clothes, cleans us up, and sets us back where we are to be.

If He does that for you and me, then He is allowing the same to happen to So-and-so who is doing such-and-such. If that gives you vindictive peace of mind, have fun with that thought, but that is missing a lot of points as well as the mark of this whole thing.

I stand before you as one who has hurt and who has been hurt. I write to you as one who is hurting, who is watching people I love and care for being hurt. It breaks my heart! I cannot even describe to you how it breaks my heart. I don’t understand what purpose God has in allowing this to go on. I understand and know very little about most things, but I am very certain on this: God doesn’t always stop people from doing bad things. It pains Him to see His creations hurting each other, but He loves us enough to not stop us, to not usurp our free will. I know in my heart that no matter what bad thing happens, God WILL work it for good. Even if it’s a good we don’t understand or don’t comprehend as yet. We will one day.

I cried til I nearly drowned in my tears, I poured out my heart to God until there was nothing left to pour. I struggled, I wrestled, I ran screaming and sobbing through the swirling mists of my sorrows and questions til I found myself lying in a cold, dreary, empty place… then I awoke and found myself in the warm arms of my Savior. He had heard my cries, he had dried my tears, and told me “Peace child, you do not understand.”

Frustration...

Every once in a while I get insanely frustrated with something trivial. Today my frustration was diverted and changed course to be focused at a book my roomie is reading for a class. I can't say everything in the book I disagreed with, but I disagreed with the heart behind it. Mainly that there wasn't one. It was a book on relationships, but nothing was mentioned about love. From the parts read to me it seemed like a bush beating laundry list of relational do's and don't's. That's not a relationship.

Relationships are not based on convenience or "what you can do for me". At least, they shouldn't be. God's initial relationship with man was one that was based on love. Tragically, it was marred and we've never fully recovered from it. This book painfully brought that reality back to me. This list of do's and don't's was created, I'm sure, with the best of intentions. I'm sure it was meant to help (the various forms of relationships between men and women) and give pointers and suggestions, but the spirit of love was painfully absent.

When the author penned it he forgot the most important key ingredient in any healthy relationship - love. The book touched on relationships from general to intimate. When it got to the relationship between married couples and tried to explain and define the roles it talked of submission and deference, but I never noticed the word love.

I suppose it could have been assumed to be there, or taken for granted but if this was the case, it is almost more tragic it was omitted. Now I'm not married, but in observing the healthy relationship between my parents I can honestly say that love saturates every part of their married lives. From decisions on trivial things like where we should go out to dinner that Sunday and when we should leave for vacation; to what school they should put us children in and where they should go on their anniversary - each decision is made with the other (or others) in mind with the proper amounts of submission, deference, and love.

This book made it seem like this relationship was something very hard you have to work at. Maybe it is, but judging by the ease my parents seem to have in it, I'm not inclined to think so.

This leaves me thinking something is wrong somewhere and I'm not thinking it's with the twenty some odd years of marriage and three well raised children, but with the book.

The point? Well... there isn't much of one besides disliking the book severely. But, if I had to pick, I'd say that it is this: Any relationship based on rules and regulations has missed the point. It's not even a relationship. God does not come to us saying, "Here are my rules, obey them OR ELSE!" He doesn't force us to obey Him or obey His commandments. Instead, He invites us to love Him back. When we love anyone we try to make them happy by doing things that make them happy. We know what those are because we know them. Obviously none of us are talking or walking with God in a physical sense, so He gave us His book to tell us what he likes and dislikes and helps us know what it takes to please Him.

Of course I'm generalizing a little bit here, but essentially, that is it. He has laid out everything we need to know to love Him and know Him in the way He always meant us to.

Am I saying commandments are merely guidelines or suggestions? No! Good grief no! Am I saying God is primarily concerned with us following those rules? No. Because we can follow the rules and regulations perfectly all day long and it will get us no where if we don't love and desire to please Him first.

-----
P.S. This was not my great summer muse.

Coming Soon...

Sooner or later I'll post my great muse I started over the summer. It's a bit tricky and needs careful wording so there's not confusion. So, hopefully you all will have something substantial to read on my blog soon.

As well, part 3 of the Tales from Farmacie should appear sooner or later.

Until then, I'll just report that I'm still alive, classes are going reasonably well, and I'm working on honing some skills of mine.

Crazy mad ninja skills.

...or just crazy mad Frank skills....

The Times

It was the best of times, it was the sick of times. In the middle of my cold sickness which has left me a groggy, drippy nosed, incoherent carbon based unit, I was able to get a new Toshiba! WOOT WOOT! It's an awesome cobalt blue color and soon it shall hopefully have the most wicked awesome customized sticker that says, "Not all those who wander are lost..."

Until then it's just an awesome blue Toshiba with a few new fonts on it. Soon however, maybe even tonight, I'll have lots of awesome music ripped onto it. WHEE!

But that's a maybe. I'm pretty well incoherent right now. Or something.

I'm still debatin on whether or not I'm going to download winamp.

Okay, before I say anything horribly out of place and incoherent, I'm leaving.

Tales from Farmacie - Part 2

The entirety of the crowd stood in shock, staring at the place where Witch Hazel and her husband had just stood. The first to regain her wits was the good fairy Vyzene who had not yet bestowed a gift.

"Though I cannot undo this spell," she cried, "I can work around it to provide a means of ending it."

"Would you, please?" the King pleaded.

"Certainly, but I must have silence so I can think and word this carefully," Vyzene replied. She walked up to the cradles of Codine and Morfine, and laying her hands on Codine's head first she said, "When a forgotten maid you see/Remember her and then there'll be/ No more cause for her wrath on thee." Then turning to her dear Princess Morfine she put her hands on her and said, "More beautiful and far more fair/ Shall be your face and golden hair/ and when a prince of true love sees/ He'll not sleep til you are freed."

"How shall we know when our prince sees a forgotten maid or our princess sees true love?" Queen Allegra cried.

"I cannot tell you," Vyzene answered. "Nor can they nor will they. In fact, when it happens they shan't even know it. You all shall forget these words of rhyme so that the events may come unlooked for. Otherwise, you meddling and bumbling humans will surely try to interfere, and goodness knows that makes things worse!"

King Adville and Queen Allegra were all in a huff. Meddling and bumbling indeed! They were determined they should not forget the words, but then with a glitter and a puff of blue smoke the fairy disappeared and they found they could not remember quite what she said. This frustrated the two of them greatly, and if they had known it, they would have been quite vexed to know that Vyzene was still in the room. She was as small as a penny and was whispering words of instruction in the ears of the accursed royal children.

She told them that when they turned 16 they would receive a key that would open a box and in that box would be help of some fashion inside. They children never forgot this information and this is what helped them wait out the next 15 years.

--- --- ---
At first, the King and Queen were quite vexed about not being able to hold their own children. Indeed, no one could! Everyone who drew near began to get tired, then drowsy, and if they proceeded to touch them, they would fall asleep on the spot and sleep for four hours straight. This was quite the predicament, because taking care of them was almost impossible. But then one day, a young shoe shine named Beneidryll, who was proclaimed to also have a drowsying effect on people, was able to touch them. Infact, when he did, he grew positively giddy. The King and Queen hired him right away to take care of Codine and Morfine, and this allowed them to not be so anxious about things.

As Prince Codine and Princess Morfine grew, they were told of the dreaded curse put on them by Aunt Witch Hazel, and lamented never being able to see their parents up close or give them a hug. However, as the children grew older, so did the King and Queen. With age comes inability to sleep, and King Adville soon figured out that giving his daughter a hug good-night would set him sleeping soundly til the sun rose. When Queen Allegra found this out, she would draw near them whenever she needed a nap to relieve a head ache.

At first the prince and princess were glad they could be of service to their parents and that they could actually see them up close, but soon enough they began to feel used and longed dearly for the day they could hug their parents with out them falling asleep in their arms.

The years wore on and they remembered the words of Fairy Vyzene and held to the hope of their cure. In the meantime, they were young, they were bored, and they looked for ways to interact with people besides the ever giddy and obnoxious Beneidryll, with out putting them to sleep. They loved each other dearly, and were quite close. But even so, one gets bored with only one other ever and all the time. In vain they tried to think of ways to accomplish this, but nothing came to mind until the tutor shouted from across the large ballroom (for she dared draw no closer) "Have you ever thought of a pen pal?"

... to be continued...

Tales From Farmacie - Part 1

Now that I know people actually read my blog, I feel obligated to update it more often. However, I am at a pathetic lack of things to talk about. There are, of course, a number of issues one can address at any given point, but which one does one write on?

Since I am not in the mood for anything political, religious, or serious, then let me post frivolously. Now, what bit of frivolity?

Aha! I know! I shall tell you a story!

Once in a land called Farmacie there was a good king named Adville and his good queen named Allegra and they had two beautiful childrin- Prince Codine and Princess Morfine. On their first birthday they were presented before the court and bestowed gifts by various nobility and peoples of importance in the kingdom.

King Adville and Queen Allegra invited everyone in Farmacie, but accidentelly forgot to invite the King's sister, Witch Hazel and her husband Mewsinex. They were both quite put out and Hazel was convinced this was done on purpose, but she and her husband resolved to show up anyway and repay the King for his forgetfulness.

The day of the birthday arrived and King Adville and Queen Allegra greeted everyone including Witch Hazel and Mewsinex with the utmost joy and courtesy. The time came for gifts to be bestowed and towards the end of the gift giving, Witch Hazel stepped forward. She bent low over their cradles and sprinkled a dust over them. Then, she stood upright and said in a loud voice, "Though over looked we both have been/ This shall not be ever again/ For now when near your kids you be/ You shall be drowsy and loopy!"

"That doesn't make any sense!" Cried Queen Allegra.
"Shut up you decongested ninny!" retorted Witch Hazel. "and it doesn't have to anyway! The point is, whenever you get near your children you shall become drowsy and unable to drive or operate heavy machinery!"
"Don't forget unable to drink alcohol," Mewsinex sneered.
"Oh yes, that too!" Witch Hazel said. She then cackled wickedly and her and her husband disappeared with a flash and a bang.

TBC...

Sunburns and Lemonade

Hey all! How are your respective summers going?

I'm sitting here on this pleasant day with sunburnt shoulders, contemplating a glass of lemonade. Awesome stuff it is!

In case you are wondering, I am indeed back at Wendy's. The people I'm working with this summer are fun so time goes by fast. I don't have as many hours as I'd like, but it's not bad. Helping to compensate for this is house-sitting.

I've been spending my off hours swimming, bike riding, reading, calligraphy...ing..., drawing, and generally enjoying myself. Soon I'll hopefully be starting a sewing project which shall, Lord willing, be finished and make it's grand debut up at NLand once the weather turns cool.

The dark cloud hanging over this summer is of course the possibility of not returning in the fall. Just below and a little to the left is the image of my retarded and dead lappy floating in a ghostly manner.

I wanna Mac! But that doesn't seem like it's going to happen... :o(

Oh, happiness! I got my Intro to Lit summer lude paper back and I got an 80% on it! WHEE! I was sooo happy!

Adios!

A Frank Confession

So, not 35 minutes ago I was all sulky about the realization that I shall end up at Wendy's once more. It's not that it's a bad job it's just that I really really really don't like working fast food. And for as much as I don't like that I don't like smelling like it even more.

For as much as I think it splendid that my manager holds my job for me, and for as much as I am eternally grateful for it - I dread it. I seriously dread it. I dread the thought of going back, each morning I went in I had to force myself in or turn off emotions so I apathetically went through the motions - I really dreaded the job.

And yet - and yet I find myself looking at my schedule of events for tomorrow and seeing calling Wendy's at the top of the list. I have hunted for other jobs, I have prayed and begged not to go back, I have put off the dreaded phone call as long as possible and still I am finding myself forced to.

I really want to throw myself a pity party. I really want another job. I'd really like to be able to get paid for doing things I actually like to do, but it seems I'm not allowed to just yet. Whether this is a result of a lack of a go-get'em personality or what have you, I don't know. I have a sneaking suspicion this is Divine Sovereignty at work but I cannot say for certain.

For those of you reading thinking that I am sulking and pouting - I agree with you. But mind you I'm telling you where I was... 43 minutes ago. Between then and now a certain poem I've read several times throughout the years came to mind and I fear I now owe Mr. Herbert a thank you.

THE COLLAR.
by George Herbert
I STRUCK the board, and cry’d, No more ;
I will abroad.
What ? shall I ever sigh and pine ?
My lines and life are free ; free as the rode,
Loose as the winde, as large as store.
Shall I be still in suit ?
Have I no harvest but a thorn
To let me bloud, and not restore
What I have lost with cordiall fruit ?
Sure there was wine,
Before my sighs did drie it : there was corn
Before my tears did drown it.
Is the yeare onely lost to me ?
Have I no bayes to crown it ?
No flowers, no garlands gay ? all blasted ?
All wasted ?
Not so, my heart : but there is fruit,
And thou hast hands.
Recover all thy sigh-blown age
On double pleasures : leave thy cold dispute
Of what is fit, and not forsake thy cage,
Thy rope of sands,
Which pettie thoughts have made, and made to thee
Good cable, to enforce and draw,
And be thy law,
While thou didst wink and wouldst not see.
Away ; take heed :
I will abroad.
Call in thy deaths head there : tie up thy fears.
He that forbears
To suit and serve his need,
Deserves his load.
But as I rav’d and grew more fierce and wilde,
At every word,
Methought I heard one calling, Childe :
And I reply’d, My Lord.

My Opinion Movie Review - Prince Caspian

If you are a die hard, true blue, "Prince Caspian" purist, then you won't like this movie because it strays from the book.

However, if you're like me and thought that the book dragged at the beginning and weren't exactly thrilled with it as a whole, then you'll like it. Even if you like the story as it is, judging by my sister (who claims this book as her favorite) you'll still like it.

Personally, I really liked it. They condensed a lot of the boring blah at the beginning and turned it to a quicker sequence of events with out losing much. Where it did stray from the book early on, they did manage to keep consistent within the story they were telling.

Actually, if you go in treating this movie like it's fanfiction, you will probably walk away very pleased.

I did not think there was nearly the character slaughtering in this movie as there was in the predecessor, The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe (LWW). I truly did think that movie was a very botched retelling of the magnificent book. Even on it's own merit, I didn't think it that good.
Prince Caspian however, manages to stand on it's own feet and still keep the same spirit of the book. Where as LWW managed to lose a lot of the feel of the book, Prince Caspian captured it and brought it to life in a way that the book never did for me.

Trust me, it pains me to confess that I don't care for the book as well as the movie, particularly when dealing with C. S. Lewis, but - I truly thought the movie was good.

There were things in the book they didn't put in the movie, but it was by and large funny and fluffy things that make Lewis' books so fun. I was sad to see the abscence of the school house and the naughty boys turning into pigs, and even that whole sequence but it would have been oddly placed in the movie. As would have Baccus. I do dearly miss those two scenes being cut, but like I said, it was a good movie.

As far as the acting is concerned, I thought Susan was much better portrayed this go 'round than she was in LWW. Peter, however, still lacked that noble, Arthurian quality that was ever so prevalent in the books. For some reason, Adamson decided to make Peter proud. Peter was never proud! This is a character slaughtering that is irksome, but it made for good drama. Even so, it took away severely from the thought of High King Peter, the Knight. Adamson sorta shows the contrast between Proud Peter and High King Peter towards the end, but it was almost too late in coming and was a bit subtle for my liking.

The Battle sequences in this movie were very good! I was on the edge of my seat! They were very well done and I think a bit more intense than LWW. As well, the weapons, the armor, everything was amazing! I was very impressed by the detail given to the costumes in this movie, particularly where warfare was involved. It was ornate, it was beautiful, and it was very believable.

The ordinary costumes were gorgeous too! They gave the kids a couple sets of clothes this movie, and they were stunning!

As far as the acting itself goes - I really thought the guy who plays Edmund did a fabulous job, once again. Lucy was of course portrayed quite well, having grown up appropriately in character and even taking an air of queenliness. Like I said, Peter the character was slaughtered, but the acting for him was pretty good. As well, I think the actress who played Susan did a better job this go round than she did in the first one. As far as Prince Caspian goes - very well acted. He really brought out the struggle that Caspian of the books had between being virtually a kid still, but yet one destined to be king. Caspian was played very realistically, I feel very true to the book, and I give Ben Barnes a round of applause for a job well done.

Oh, and for the record - Reepicheep's coloring was a little off, but he was amazingly done! As well, I liked Aslan a lot better this time. I really didn't like how he was done in LWW, but he was done much better this go round.

One more note - for those of you who may not know - Adamson decided that since the Telmarine's were pirates, he would make them of Spanish decent. Logical, and well with in the realms of artistic liberty. But - Adamson seems to have an unending problem with getting the right hair color on characters! Lucy is suppose to be a golden blonde, not a brunette. Same with Caspian. But, considering the poetic license he took in making them Spanish, a brunette Caspian works.

But that was just a side note.

Over all, I really liked this movie, I hope I can see it again, and I thought it was a job well done.

My Opinion Movie Review

If you like super-hero action flicks Iron Man is the movie you want to go see next.

In case you don't know who Iron Man is, then let me give you a brief summary. He started out as a self centered, rich, playboy, weapons design genius, and after being captured by a terrorist group of sorts and sees that his weapons are being used against US troops, he manages to escape and decides to take his life and work in a radically different direction.

Now for the opinions -
I thought the acting was very well done, the special effects were amazing, and the dialogue managed to escape the typical action flick transgressions of cheesy one liners and catch phrases. The one liners were really good! The conversations actually sounded normal, and... amazingly enough, you actually believe that the characters exist. The characters were crafted to be real, deep, and believable. This seems to be a pathetic rarity in most films, but I firmly feel this one managed to achieve it.

True to most of the Marvel superhero movies I have seen, there has been very limited blood and gore with out sacrificing one minute of battle or action. The fight sequences I thoroughly enjoyed, especially since I could see what was going on and not get motion sick. (There are few things I dislike more than battle sequences with odd angles that move around too much! Case and point - Transformers.)

As far as "scenes" and language go - I found myself startled at the outset by a minute or less "scene" and wondering about the rest of the movie, but pleasantly found that was the one and only time I was left coughing and looking down at the floor. I understand why it was put in, but it definitely could have been more tastefully avoided and still gotten the point across. However, I am torn about that because it really did help to contrast things later on. Either way, you'll see it coming early on, so look down then keep watching. Language was very minimal. I honestly expected a lot more than there was, and was pleasantly surprised it was missing. More or less, you'll probably hear more if you walk by some teenagers at Wal*Mart than you will in this movie.
By the end, I found myself totally engulfed and 'lost' in the movie - something which doesn't happen very often.

Good job Iron Man!

What a God I Serve!

I must be brief for time is of the essence, to put it mildly...

Anyway, I have to take 2 block classes on cultural studies and I found out Thursday night I have a paper due in it come Monday. I found out Friday afternoon that I have to have multiple chapters ready by Monday. I found out this morning that the bookstore nor the library have any available copies.

Great.

So, as I was walking back to my room I was desperately praying God would help me find the book. I tried multiple people but nobody had it that would be able to loan it to me. So, I left on a note on the door of my last hope and turned to the internet.

God is tech-savvy. Did you know that?

I believe I managed to find a complete copy of the book online, and then my last hope came into my room declaring I can borrow hers if I need.

Double blessings!

As for the paper - we have four different topics to pick from, and I am picking un-Levitical holidays. Thus, I am off to write a paper!

Over a Month - Tsk! Tsk!

Good grief! It has been over a month since my last post. I feel as if I had abandoned my loyal readers... reader... occasional bored person surfing the internet at 3 AM... whatever! In my defense I have tried multiple times to create a post but to no avail.

To be perfectly honest, I haven't had much to say. For those of you that know me, I'm sure you are shocked. I have had a lot to think and mull over, but nothing to say. As deep and profound things go, I still have nothing to say. Nor do I have anything of a silly, funny, or even frivolous nature to say.

So, rather than attempt to be profound or deep, or witty and funny I shall simply be plain and simple and let you in on one of the musings at the back of my mind.

Everything that happens in life that seems disjointed really isn't. I embarked on reading a book I was sent called "At the Back of the North Wind" by George MacDonald. So far, I've only gotten 3 or 4 chapters in and I find that I am failing to see how everything is connected. I always do at the beginning of any MacDonald book. However, true to form he always draws it all together at the close.

It is true to his form and true to life. God may plan various events in our lives to happen that at the time appear disjointed (and may for a time to come) but in the end they are all drawn together to make perfect and beautiful sense. It's like a jigsaw puzzle that you start with out seeing the picture of it finished first. You only can get a glimpse here and there of what the image is, and the further along you go, the more you see. That is how George MacDonald's stories unfold and that is how life often looks from our point of view.

If you'll follow me on my slight detour, I'll elaborate on this a little further.

If George MacDonald's stories are like jigsaw puzzles, then I submit that Tolkien's are like tapestries. His are also very true to life in that everything that happens was caused, influenced, or affected/effected (sometimes both!) by something else. The events that lead to Frodo getting the Ring were no more isolated and random seeming as history itself.

That could be another analogy - MacDonald's writing is like being there and watching it unfold as if you were looking over the shoulder of the main character. You might see slightly more than he does, but not much. In contrast, Tolkien's writings are like reading a history written much after the fact and with full knowledge, comprehension, and understanding of why. Where does all this leave C. S. Lewis? I cannot neglect to mention the first author who took me beyond the world! Oft he writes as one who has interviewed the people that were there, or as a first hand, objective observer, barely involved or not at all involved (typically the latter). His writings are like reading accounts of events as recalled by the best story teller you know.

So where am I going with this? I suppose it is all to point out that through paying attention to how these authors narrate I have broadened my perspective on how to look at life. We live and see events as George MacDonald was inclined to record them, but we are woven in as Tolkien demonstrated, and it is all being told with perfect accuracy and objectiveness while still being the most captivating thing you can imagine.

It amazes me how it takes three men, stacks of books, and more than a century between them all to write as God has planned and orchestrates every second. Everything that happens in our life that seems disjointed has a purpose for happening. It is all being woven into the grand tapestry of time itself and it is all being told by the Master Story Teller and in the most riveting fashion!

Late Night Ramble

Some nights, a body gets tired, but the mind is too full of thoughts to go to sleep. This is one of those nights. Typically, when I have one of these, I write an email to someone who I don't think would mind reading a late night ramble. However, I couldn't think of anyone in particular tonight, so I decided I would ramble to the world.

Or at least what wanderers happen to come across this rambling.

A mind that has so many thoughts dancing through it is a curious thing. I always find that I want to write a thousand things but when I reach out to grab one to put down onto paper, I grasp nothing. Or, I grasp multiple things at once and then I am truly in a pickle because none of the things are related. I'm almost certain if I were to try to put down my opinions on the song "I Want My Mullet Back" (by Billy Ray Cyrus... should you care), my thoughts on the oddities of human behavior when it comes to relationships, and how George MacDonald is the world's most under-mentioned and overlooked writer of the 19th century; you the reader would have a horrible time trying to follow.

I know that I have done such horribly random posts before, and I am sure I shall again, but tonight is not a night for randomness. If I was going to say tonight was for anything, it is for soft folk ballads on guitars and melancholy/reflective musings. I'd settle for cicadas and musing while under a tree or stars while out in the country or woods.

As it stands, I am left with late night listenings to "The Magicians Nephew" (by Focus on the Family's Radio Theater), typing this, and occasionally petting my soft orange cat (who is affectionately called Lardy but is actually named Muffin).

Well, it may not be guitars or cicadas, or even a short getaway; but Narnia and Muffin isn't bad. Not bad at all.

YAY! I have sufficiently gotten enough thoughts out of my head and am finally tired enough to go to sleep.

Good night, and thanks for reading!

Answered Prayers and Blessings

I suppose you could call this a double answer to prayer -

I wanted to go home for Spring break. I really did. But I could find no one to ride with. Having no car, no ride, and no hope, I resigned to staying up here with a friend of mine, all the while telling people the only way I would be getting home is if they prayed I found a ride and God answered prayer.

I really didn't expect anything to happen. And that is precisely when, I imagine, God looked at me and said, "Oh ye of little faith!" and set to work.

I told my mother of my rideless plight, and she said that she and Dad could come up and get me. It's a long drive, but if they were willing, who was I to say no? So I rejoiced at getting a ride home. Then, a few days later, I learned a friend of mine had an extra seat in her mini-van and on top of it, she lives but 2 hours from my house! Double blessings! Not only are my parents spared a trip, but I get to ride home with friends and spend all break with family and friends!

Blessings! Blessings! Blessings! To add to it, I may possibly be able to get a ride even closer to home than that from my friend's house. YAY! Which would be even nicer for my parents. Considering Dad is still unemployed- every penny counts!

And then last night, on the way home from church, the van did a complete 180 in the middle of the road. The blessings included not hitting any trees, getting hopelessly stuck in the snow (albeit we had to get pushed out), and that no one hit us and we arrived back safe and sound after a short delay with no more difficulties.

With a Word

Here is a thought that church brought to mind last night -

With a word God created the world. With a word everything we know in this universe will be destroyed. And yet, it is with a word He comforts us and guides us. More or less- God has the power to create and destroy worlds with just an utterance, but between doing these two things, He has decided to speak to us - created things of dust. And why? Because He loves us and He cares for us.

Happy non-Valentine's Day

For perhaps the first time in my life, Valentine's Day has come and gone generally uncelebrated for me. In past years I have gone out of my way to wear a little more red and pink than usual, but this year it just didn't happen. For whatever reason I just couldn't bring myself to celebrate the holiday in my usual manner.

I did, however, spend a vast part of the day meditating on the love of God. Quite oddly enough my musings were set off by reading about how the men that killed Ishbosheth ended up getting executed by David's men. Why? Because David had great respect for Sual and his family and as well a degree of love. That is inspite of attempts at murder, dethroning, all that.

For a couple of days my mind has been wandering back to teh song David sang at the funeral of Saul and Jonathan. David loved Jonathan because they were very close friends. He also loved Saul because he was his king. He would suffer no harm or dishonor to fall upon him. That is love. That is love that forgives and does not let the heart grow bitter. I cannot help but suppose David in this case ought to be our example for loving our enemies.

In addition to taht, I have been dwelling on 1 Corinthians 13. Many times we make it through the first 7 verses or so, and trail off around verse 8 with the phrase "love never ends" and jump to verse 13. We overlook a marvelous little bit that almost seems out of place, and for that reason it caught my attention. But, it is definitely there for a purpose.

8. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.
9. For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
10. but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.
11. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.
12. For now e see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully even as I have been fully known.

I am no theologian, but here's how this bit strikes me. When it's all said and done all of this world, the struggles, the gifts, everything will pass away. Right now, we only get partial of everything. We only know bits and pieces of prophesy, knowledge, all that. And so, as when we left childhood and became adults we put away our silly notions and saw things more clearly; we will do so one day with prophesy, knowledge, and even love.

In that day we shall see what our faith has been clinging on to and in what we have placed our hope. One day we shall see Love, we shall see the very One who created love. At last we shall see and understand precisely why verse 13 reads, "So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love."

So perhaps this year I did not celebrate the day of romance, chocolate, and flowers - but I did celebrate love.

And When You Pray...

Since most of you that read my blog are either on my mailing list or were at Heart Conference, than I shan't copy all my notes here. However, I will park on one of the points the speaker brought up about prayer.

I believe he said a bit about how even though God is sovereign, we still need to pray because our prayers are apart of His sovereign plan. The speaker also mentioned something about how God will sometimes delay in answering our prayers because it is then that we will learn something about Him we wouldn't have learned otherwise.

I'm rather in a funny stage with that though because I am far enough in to see there is a lesson being taught, but what exactly it is, I can't figure out. This is one of those times when God keeps saying, "Wait and see".

Far easier said than done from a human point of view. I have had in my mind 3 different dates by which I figured Dad would have to have a job or- there was no or, if's, and's or but's in my mind about it. It would simply have to be so. Three times now those dates have come and gone and nothing. All along the way God has been providing and in a sense proving Himself and His ability to provide and sustain. I am becoming increasingly more confident in God through this, and almost oddly enough I find myself wanting to praise Him for Dad not having a job. Not that is such a great thing to be unemployed, but God has been so good and so faithful, I almost want to boast about it.

Though things are tight and are a bit stressful back home, particularly when faced with the unwanted and unliked possibility of moving very out of state, I find myself perfectly at peace. I just can't get worked up about it. Yes, I REALLY want my dad to get a job, and preferably near where we are, but God has proven Himself so faithful to me in recent months that I simply can't help but be at peace with whatever God shows to be His will and I rest quite comfortably in the fact that God moves in His good timing and never a moment too late.

Not by Circumstance

Listening to Works of God testimonies in chapel today reminded me that nothing EVER happens by chance, and nothing would happen if God didn't direct it to.

Just thinking about being back up here at school- I would not be here if it were not for God's provision. How my financial help came about is particularly because of God's leading and direction. Conceivably, one could say it came about by circumstances and would have happened with out God. This I fully reject as silly. I may forget this at times, but I truly believe that God has His sovereign hand in absolutely everything. He guides and directs in what seems, to our perspective, the most subtle and ordinary of ways, and then "on occasion" in a miraculous way to prove to us blind humans that He's really been in this the entire time. It humbles me and reminds me what a great God I serve.

Oft I forget this as well, but God never guides us to go or do anything if He isn't going to provide and enable us to do it. That is the wonderment and amazement about this Christian life.

Last Week Home

Well, I'm looking at the last few days home. It's always mixed emotions about them. Part of me is sad that I am leaving friends and family again, yet part of me is excited to see the other half of my friends... many of which have become like family. It's always that way.

In more than one way I feel like part of me has already returned to school... partly because I've been busy cutting out and sewing banners for the Valentine's Banquet... partly because I am once again looking forward to Wal*Mart excursions for stuff that I need for school. Roomies- don't panic. I'm not bringing back much from there except for chips and salsa. ;o)

To update you on my life since my last post (I just know y'all are on the edge of your seat! lol.), I have managed to do a bit more writing than I thought I would. I'm quite pleased with how my little story is taking shape. I now have some history to go on and the future (for the characters) is starting to form. Fun times! I've also learned how to cut glass bottles. Whee! Also, I wrote another addition of Ye Olde News. It was about a year or so in coming, but I finally got around to it. It wasn't the best issue yet... largely because I wrote all but one article. For the next one, I am going to recruit writers from UNTA to work on it. Ha! Besides the banners, I have made a lovely little chain for my two thumbdrives. It's beaded. Go me! Other tahn that... not much.

Oh yes, I bought a moose calendar and a "Children of Hurin" calendar. Heeheehee!

I'll throw this out, along with a copy of it- I'm doing well on getting my months of the year wallpapers done. Whee!
I'll say a disclaimer right now that none, or very few, of the pictures or brushes used shall be mine. If the brushes are not stock photoshop brushes then I got them from Miss M. Tis a website. If you want a link, I'll give it to you.

Russian Revelation

Guess what, our "Global Warming" is a natural trend and we're heading towards a nice cold snap. Read about it here!

(picture's from last year.)

This means when I go out to buy a big truck and some Greenie comes up to me and starts preaching at me about how I'm destroying the environment, I shall simply whip out my print out of the article I linked you to and point to the bright and cheerily highlighted section that reads, "Carbon dioxide is not to blame for global climate change. Solar activity is many times more powerful than the energy produced by the whole of humankind. Man’s influence on nature is a drop in the ocean."

Ha ha ha.

Anyway, since it is a new year, I have been giving a good deal of thought about what resolutions to make, if any. I decided on a few spiritual things like trying to meditate on a verse throughout the day and improving prayer life, but this was rather a goal before the year turned.

As for anything else... I can't decide. I'm thinking of carrying over one from last year which was to reduce salt intake. I was met with some success, and so I can't say it will be a new resolution or anything. Merely a continuation of an old one.

Alright, I believe a few smaller resolutions are in order, if nothing else, for my own discipline. So, two new goals for this year: to write in my journal at least once a week and to spend time on my story every day.

The first one has to start after I get back though... sorta forgot my journal up at school... hehe!

I wouldn't call this a resolution, but I'd like to create a wallpaper for every month of the year. Fun times.

Anyway, HAPPY NEW YEAR! Again.