Well, I should have changed my header from the snow theme by now, but considering it is still snowing outside, maybe it isn't so out of place.
This sad blog has been badly neglected! I said Merry Christmas and abandoned it. Well, to sum up how this year has gone so far:
1. I played the role of Feste in "Twelfth Night"
2. I turned 21!
3. I watched one friend get engaged and then proceeded to become her maid of honor
4. I watched the other single room-mate all but start dating
5. I have officially written over 150 poems (I broke the 150 mark a couple weeks ago)
All in all, not bad for four months work.
Now, to the point of me even remembering this blog - The Laws of Etiquette and Dating.
I'm well aware that there are laws governing the behaviour of gentlemen and ladies. I am also well aware that most of them are lost on the younger generations. I, being the young whipper-snapper I am, have been raised with to use sense and follow the broader and general guidelines of conduct and etiquette, but I have also grown up in a post-feminazi movement world and therefore my idea of how men ought to treat women they are dating is perhaps a bit skewed.
Please allow me a moment to re-trace my thinking on the subject so you can perhaps understand my conclusion.
It all started in watching countless men on campus carrying pink backpacks, oversized purses, and other bags for their girlfriends. I didn't pay very much attention to it though until one morning I had the rare privelege of watching my friend's fiancee walk half the campus out of his way so he could take his beloved's bag from her. My initial response was that it was utterly ridiculous and absurd that he should inconvenience himself by walking so far out of his way. If he would have waited to where the sidewalks met and taken it that would have been a little better in my mind.
With that, I started pondering the proper protocol for such things. Surely he was being extreme and love struck ridiculous. Surely! After mulling over it a few days I hit the internet and began researching gentleman's etiquette.
I found nothing about whether or not men should carry a lady's backpack, but I did discover Victorian etiquette and then recalled things I had seen in old movies and read in old books.
If memory serves correctly, a gentleman should always help a lady when he sees she is carrying something large and/or heavy. Weighing in what I did find about Victorian etiquette, I believe a man would have volunteered to carry something large and heavy before a woman could attempt to pick it up. If he didn't see her til after she had it in her arms, he would insist on taking it from her. Chivelrous and commendable.
I then compared that to the behaviour of modern men (on campus in particular) and have come to the general conclusion that men who do so are the exception, not the norm. (Unless of course you're carrying a large stack of costumes that look like they're about to fall. Then most of them will offer help.)
This lead me to the question of whether or not I would let my boyfriend (hypothetically speaking, for you see I am single) carry my backpack for me. My current conclusion is this: If he has proven himself a gentlemen towards other ladies and offers to help them with heavy bags, boxes, books, and so forth, then yes. If he walks past girls struggling to stand up-right for how heavy their school bag is and couldn't care less whether or not she can barely hold the enormous box she must carry, then most certainly not!
Why, you ask? Simply put - I like consistency. If he is consistantly a gentleman in that area then I have no problem with it because I know he is simply doing it to be a gentleman and not just out of affection for me. If he is not, then I (being the wary and cynical old maid that I now am) am apt to get very suspicious if he suddenly turns into Mr. Darcy and will just as likely think he's buttering me up as anything. As well, I have a generally held belief (based on observations and general patterns of human behaviour) that a man (or woman) will do all sorts of crazy things while dating to secure affections that he (or she) have no intention of continuing after the wedding. I would hate to get used to being treated like a delicate flower to turn into a pack mule later.
Am I saying my opinion is right/should be adopted by women everywhere? No. I'm considering this a matter of sheer preference and opinion of lowly blogger.
For as decided as I am however, this opinion is only preliminary and not cemented just yet. Therefore any comments, feedback, opposing arguements, etc. are appreciated. (Arguements are welcomed, but I suggest they be good arguements and well backed if you wish for me to take them seriously.)
