Must read!!!

I just finished a very good book by one of my favorite authors, Ray Blackston. It is called, "A Pagan's Nightmare." It's about a reverse rapture. The redeemed are left instead! You can read the prologue and chapter one here.

It brings up a few good points. One of which being how Commercialized Christ looks to the unsaved.

And while I'm at it, let me take this opportunity to plug his other three books. In order they are "Flabbergasted", "A Delirious Summer", and "Lost in Rooville."

They are about single guys and gals in the Bible Belt that are church hopping to find "the one." It sounds... weird... but trust me, it is utterly hysterical! I don't think I've every laughed so hard while reading a book in all of my life. But they aren't all about the comedy. They do have good points to them as well.

You will probably be tempted part way through to think he's completely cracked, but do remember, they are narrated first person, and thus from the narrator's perspective. Hang in there, read up to the end, and just go along for the ride. In other words, don't sit there and try to figure out. He's a story teller, let the man tell his tale!

Oh, and don't start reading any of them if you don't have a solid weekend to devote to it. They are incredibly hard to put down!

There are potholes on the road less traveled. Some deep, some not so deep, some you dig yourself. Most are filled with mud. Many contain rocks. Once in a while, however, you’ll be walking along and step in one a bit more accommodating . . . shabby, green, and pulsing with life.

It’ll tickle your feet, like clover.

-from the prologue to "Flabbergasted"

Merry CHRISTmas!
-Frank

Hooray for Holidays! Fruitcakes, Nuts, and All!

Last year or so, I discovered quite an amazing dessert. Though it is oft ridiculed, I love it just the same. It is, you guessed it, fruitcake.

Now, this isn't any nasssssty, sickening monstrosity that looks like... well... that -->
It's faaar from that! This is NOT the fruitcake that you hear all the jokes about. This would NOT make a good door stop or building material. This fruitcake is not able to survive a nuclear explosion. Nor is it responsible for the death of a hundreds of British soldiers.


This is GOOD fruitcake! The sort that is moist, nut laden, with large chunks of actual fruit in it, along with... uuuuhhhh... a few added special ingredients that give it a "nice" flavor. ;o)

And nothing accompanies this wonderfully marvelous fruitcake quite like a bottle of either Cranberry Canada Dry or, my favorite, Vernors. Since I've gotten home, I've not managed to have either drink, but I have consumed quite a bit of the fruit cake.

So much for keeping my girlish figure... (like I actually care. Ha!)

Speaking of fruitcakes... I'm now home for Christmas break! This means I'm back to sharing a room with only one other person. In some ways, it's less dramatic, but in other ways, it's more... hmm... insane. Yes, I think that's a good word. I don't think I've necessarily lost any insanity from college dorm life to home life, I've merely exchanged what sort. I went from living with three girls, to living with my siblings again. I had forgotten how nutty they were. My sister claims she's "normal nutty" but I fail to see how any of all this is at all normal. Well, I take that back. It might all be normal, but it is certainly not sane.

I've quite given up on trying to find normal, sane people. I've decided that normal is a setting on my washing machine and sane is purely a term used by psychologist to define "normal" behaviour. I've known for nearly all of my life I am not normal or sane, but I was hoping to find such people to perhaps become either one or both. At this point, I'm not either one, nor do I want to be!

I've completely given up on the whole business. Particularly since everyone seems to be in a Scrooge of a mood and unwilling to have a little fun and actually remember to celebrate Christmas. If snow isn't going to fall and people are going to be humbugs about the whole thing, I'm just going to remember that "The best way to spread Christmas cheer/Is singing loud for all to hear!" ;o)

And as usual, the end of the blog entry has very little, if anything, to do with the beginning of it. Hehe!

Merry Christmas!!!
-Frank

Crunch time Craziness

My head has been working over time lately, so I'm taking this time to do a little Christmas parodying (word?) of a few of my favorite Christmas songs and poems.

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
Twas the night before Christmas. In my house, all through
Not a creature was stirring, not even a Schnoo.
The stockings were hung on the chimney with care
But one was flipped up 'cause the air vent was there.
The siblings were sprawled out, all warm in their beds
While visions of sugar plums danced in their heads.
And being quite hungry, Bubs reached up to steal
The sugary treats for a midnight meal.
I lay in my bed and I listened to hear
Nat King Cole croon out Christmas songs dear.
Then all of the sudden, I arose with a jerk
Perhaps my dear Mufflin was up late at work?
Not able to sleep, I crept out of bed
(being careful not to fall upon my sisters head).
I walked out of my room, and what should appear
But my brother wandering... asleep I did fear.
Into the kitchen he shuffling went-
To the cookies his path was quite certainly bent.
I followed him in. Suspicions confirmed.
Where milk and cookies were kept, was very well learned,
But oh-ho-ho! What is this? My father draws nigh!
I hide behind the tree, but keep watchful eye.
He tells sleeping brother to head back to his room
And so he does, but will Dad? I assume...
And I assumed right! A cookie he takes!
With a tall glass of milk... and a sip of my shake!
Being overprotective of my shake of strawberry
I jump out from the tree and say, "That's my shake Daddy!"
He just stands there sipping beside the fridge door
Saying, "What shake?" ere he drinks a bit more.
I give him a glare and then try not to smile
As he gives me an innocent face for a while.
I snatch it and take a few sips then I head
Back to go sleep in my warm, squishy bed.
And just before Dad leaves the Christmas tree's light
He says, "Merry Christmas! Sweet dreams and good night!"

JINGLE BELLS

Jingle Bells
Gollum Smells
Sauron wants his Ring
The ents have taken Isengard
And all the orcs can’t sing

Ooh!
Jingle Bells
Human’s smell
Gollum wants the Ring
The elves are leaving on Grey Ships
And Pippin sure can sing!

Frodo is on a trek
To destroy the one Ring
While smelly Aragorn
Is trying to become King
He’s in a love triangle
With Eowyn and Arwen
And if he’s caught then he shall be
One dead ranger-man

Oooh!
Jingle Bells
Mordor smells
Denethor’s crazy!
Gimli’s getting sea-sick
And Legolas hears the sea

Ooh!
Jingle Bells
Sauron smells
Gimli’s breath is bad
Denethor hates Faramir
And that makes his son sad.

The Witch-king thinks he’s won
But Eowyn’s no man
Sam’s tired of Lembas
Nob is a hired hand
Elrond’s brows are scary
And Haldir is not dead
Galadriel is turning blue
Now watch her spinning head!

----

Hehehe! Aah! Sooo relaxing!

Oooh, as for Jingle Bells: See how many jokes you can find it.

Anyway! I am exchanging one set of deadlines for another. Oddly enough, it's just more of the same things, but less of them. Strange our world.

Catch y'all around!
-Frank