A word of explanation

The question will come up sooner or later, so I'm answering it before it does-
Why the names Peggy then Frank?

there was an 8th grade girl that created a comic strip. The comic strip was about a girl, an average girl just living her life and laughing at herself. What was this girl's name? Peggy Marshall. The comic strip was mine, and it was (in a way) about me and what was going on in my head and in my life. Why I named the girl Peggy is the result of watching Batman and Robin then shoping at Marshalls shortly there after.

If you're still missing the Peggy part, let me 'splain. No, too long. Let me sum up. In Batman and Robin the girl that eventually becomes Batgirl sees a picture of a lady on Uncle Alfred's desk (In the movie I guess she was his niece). Come to find out, it was her Aunt Peggy, but Alfred always called her Peg and the story goes on. But, I saw that name and thought, I kinda like that... in an unusual way. So that's that.

Now, what about Frank? That is the most recent addition to my nick-name collection, givin to me by a GA named Jon. Exactely why he called me that, I don't know, but there is some speculation it is due to the fact I am very straightforward and frank.

Why did I change it, ask you? Because someone suggested I do so. I was telling a friend here (Rae) about my blog and what my name was, and she said, "You should change it to Frank." I thought it was a good idea, so I went with it.

So, that's why I'm Frank. I think I'm going to change it a little though so people randomly wandering here realize I'm not a guy. :o)

And in other news

I decided it would be fun to post some news articles I had found.

When Squirrels Attack!

Interrogating Terrorists

Pray for Voters

In case you are wondering, the pic has absolutely nothing to do with anything. I just like it so I put it up.

I'm feeling a bit random tonight. So, to randomly throw out some more stuff -
God is very gracious. VERY VERY VERY gracious! He just keeps showing me how marvelously wonderful He is while making me realize how much I don't deserve it. Lessons in blessings.

Ever since I've gotten hear, I've seen God do more things in my life than I thought possible. For the first time I'm seeing God at every turn. It's absolutely amazing to me.

I'm starting to feel quite spoiled up here. Quite spoiled indeed! When I got here, I expected things to be less than what they are. I really didn't think I'd meet very many people at all, I really didn't think I'd like so many of my classes, I didn't expect so many of prayers to be answered about college... so many things I can't even begin to remember them all! Yet, I've met a lot of people (at least, many more than I expected), I love all of my classes, and God is answering prayers before I pray them! Well, so it seems.

I am watching myself grow and stretch and change spiritually in ways I didn't even think possible. Not that it's so extreme, but that, every moment He's working on me and so I'm growing quickly, but gently. I know sooner or later He might stretch me a little faster than I like, or in a direction I don't like, but I know I shall be able to bear it.

I'm also learning a lot about the personality of Jesus. Finally, after all these years, the things I was taught about Him in Sunday School are starting to become very real. I was reading in Matthew last night and this morning, and for the first time I was reading about Jesus and seeing Him as a person. With a personality and everything! This might sound rather funny or odd (maybe even sad) but until recently, I could never really see Jesus having a personality. It never really occured to me that He might laugh, smile, etc. I know... it sounds silly. But it didn't!

Learning a lot about His grace and mercy too. Funny thing about that too... The more I see how good God is, the more I see how bad I am. It is incredibly humbling. Inspires action too. The more He does for me, the more I want to do for Him.

I'd love to go on and on about what I'm learning, but the lessons are so "small" and so many that I couldn't if I wanted to! I'm definitly with the song writer here that penned, "moment by moment new mercies I see." Also learning that counting your blessings really will surprise you.

At times, I feel so dumb because I'm learning these really simple lessons just now. I remember being taught many of these things in elementary Sunday School. Also, things I learned once, I'm learning again, but on a deeper level. It's like social studies in elementary school. You learn the same thing year after year, but each time you go over it, you learn something more about it.

Alrighty, all for now!
-Frank

Pardon the dust!

I've been goofing around with my blog to get it customized so it's just how I want. Wouldn't you know it, I messed it up and I can't figure out how to fix it. :op As a result, I'm picking a new theme and am going to goof around with that.

So, if it doens't look the same twice, that's why.

As of today, Cloudy Headed is under construction!

Revived!

Praise God! Hallelujah! Let me do a little follow up on my last post. As usual, I dreaded and was fearful in vain. I'm learning not to- slowly. I'm learning a lot actually. Classes aside.

Moving on!

Up here at school we've been having revival meetings all week with evangelist Steve Pettit. The first night was a hard message to swallow, but very much needed. It was about how God takes us to the end of ourselves so we have to lean on Him wholly. It also covered how we cannot escape sin in this life and how we shouldn't be weighed and/or controlled by it.

That hit home.

How long had I been trying to walk in my own strength? How long had I been sinning and unconcerned? I'm not sure I could put a date on it, but I do know it's been longer than it should have been.

I don't even remember what the message was the second night, but I know that afterwards my heart was heavy. I needed to get some things straightened out. After the service was dismissed, I went outside and wandered around trying to think of someplace quiet to go. The Grind was obviously going to be too loud, the dorm room is usually too distracting, the Rec Hall was slowly filling up, so I headed towards the Dining Hall, praying it was vacant. It was, for the most part.

I wandered in and sat down at one of the round tables and cracked my black Bible open to the Psalms. I found myself reading David's psalms about how horrible and heartbroken he was over his sin. As I read, I found myself praying the same words that David did. As weird as this sounds, I connected with David that night. I really started understand why he wrote what he did.

Anyway, as my reading progressed, I found myself confessing and asking for forgiveness. The more I did so, the more at peace my heart became. Soon, like David, I was praising God for His mercy, forgiveness, and perfectness.

Afterwards, I just wandered around outside and was silent. There was nothing to be said, to be sung, to be thought. The peace that flooded my soul brought such joy that I could do nothing but be silent.

Hmm... what more can I say about how God is working? Well, I'm learning something everyday about how to keep my focus on Him. And I'm learning that God is a God of details. He likes to take care of them. So do I. Which is probably why I make myself crazy and God keeps me from having time to even think about details. :o)

What else is there to say about this week? It's hard to remember when so much stuff happens in a day! Weeelll... I've managed to write a few good poems. It's amazing how God can take heart ache, sin, conviction, and release and turn it all into verse! I'd post them here, but I want to get everything copyrighted before I put it on the internet. So, if anyone wants to read it, hunt me down and ask to see it. I usually carry my notebook with me.

Okay, after staring at the screen for five minutes and finding myself completely unable of figuring out a an ending to this little post, I settled on a quote.

If you think of this world as a place simply intended for our happiness, you find it quiet intolerable: think of it as a place for training and correction and it's not so bad.

-C. S. Lewis

Live, drive, and survive

That title is completely random.

Moving on.

The last post was... yeeaaahh... ignore that. Heehee...

Life is improving! I joined the Spurgeon society today... not entirely sure why though. It was either God's leading or my mind playing games with me. In any event, what's done is done and there is nothing I can do about it. Not that I want to. I'm actually pretty apathetic towards the whole thing. Which isn't good, I've been told, but I've never been much of one for societies, clubs, and what not (UNTA aside).

I just really don't get them.

And I'm dreading initiation. Thus far, I have successfully avoided all forms of public humiliation involving pranks, initiations, etc. I can usually spot a trap a mile off. The problem with society's are that even if you do spot it, you will probably have to endure it any way.

Some spiritual, godly person would read that and think I'm proud and can't stand the humiliation, or that I'm too self concious or something. No... it's more like, I don't like to be decieved and mocked. Gladly will I do something silly or make a dork out of myself, but I really have a hard time with involuntary public humiliation staged by other people. Accidents don't even bother me, it's just knowing full well that someone set this up so I could be laughed at or with, or initiated, or whatever they say just doesn't sit well.

I can't imagine it will be anything too terrible, and I'm probably making a mountain out of a mole hill, but... I'm dreading it.

It probably won't be as bad as I'm thinking, but I'm still dreading it. And if the Freshman activity is any indication... yeah... We were told to stand in a circle while being pelted with water balloons and then later dodge balls.

It was... an interesting experience, and was enjoyable... in a weird, almost degrading, vulnerable way. I mean, I really did laugh and have fun... but it was... I can't describe it. I probably need more of it in my life.

Well anyway, I'm talking a lot, but not saying anything.

This is Peggy Marshall signing off!

School Daze

Yes, I meant to use "daze" not "days", because, frankly, I am in a daze. I'm at college (Northland Baptist Bible College) and I am ending the first 2 days of school. I have now gone to all of my classes at least once. Go me.

I don't think I've quite realized yet that all the homework I've been given is not due tomorrow. on the other hand, I haven't realized that some of it really is and the rest is due at the end of the week. Everything is moving so swiftly and and in so many directions that I'm having a hard time sorting it out in my head. I'm sure the serious lack of sleep over the last few days has contributed to the seriously cloudy thinking of late. Yes... seriously cloudy...

Just like my header, I'm cloudy headed... but I'm not so sure about the "starry eyed" thing anymore. More like glazed over. Lack of sleep, allergies, and general confusion have contributed for the under eye luggage and dark rings.

In an attempt to regain some thinking abilities, I am trying to find ways to calm myself down and relax. I'm met with limited success. I'm quite stressed and uptight. I shouldn't be. I've been trying to get into my Bible, but for some reason I can't seem to find the verse that can help me. I've been praying a bit, which has helped a tiny little bit, but has by no means resolved the tension. Oh me of little faith?

Any non-godly means of stress relief aren't working either. Typically, making a banner or something helps, but I have no inspiration! So does ranting in my LiveJournal, to Berella, or to my journal, and it sorta does, but not much. Right now, I'm trying music. I've got "O Love Divine" by the Steve Pettit Evanelistic team playing. "Cleansing Wave" was sorta helpful... but now I've skipped to "O Love Divine" and it seems to be calming my nerves more.

Part of my problem is that I have a VERY hard time just letting go.

I just had an epiphany! Things I'm typically not good at physically, I'm not so great at spiritually! Yikes! I've never been good about letting go and letting myself drop onto the ground when climbing around on a jungle gym, I've never been good at letting myself lean on things I haven't tested or falling onto even the softest and sturdiest of objects I was sure of, and well... never mind... though phsycially I'm not much for stretching, I almost enjoy stretching in different directions in ministry.

Well... I've obviously got a few things to work on! Trusting in God, leaning on God, falling into His open arms and letting him catch me. That's my problem! I'm always trying to catch myself. Shall I ever learn to let God catch me?