Saturday, December 02, 2006

Crunch time Craziness

My head has been working over time lately, so I'm taking this time to do a little Christmas parodying (word?) of a few of my favorite Christmas songs and poems.

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
Twas the night before Christmas. In my house, all through
Not a creature was stirring, not even a Schnoo.
The stockings were hung on the chimney with care
But one was flipped up 'cause the air vent was there.
The siblings were sprawled out, all warm in their beds
While visions of sugar plums danced in their heads.
And being quite hungry, Bubs reached up to steal
The sugary treats for a midnight meal.
I lay in my bed and I listened to hear
Nat King Cole croon out Christmas songs dear.
Then all of the sudden, I arose with a jerk
Perhaps my dear Mufflin was up late at work?
Not able to sleep, I crept out of bed
(being careful not to fall upon my sisters head).
I walked out of my room, and what should appear
But my brother wandering... asleep I did fear.
Into the kitchen he shuffling went-
To the cookies his path was quite certainly bent.
I followed him in. Suspicions confirmed.
Where milk and cookies were kept, was very well learned,
But oh-ho-ho! What is this? My father draws nigh!
I hide behind the tree, but keep watchful eye.
He tells sleeping brother to head back to his room
And so he does, but will Dad? I assume...
And I assumed right! A cookie he takes!
With a tall glass of milk... and a sip of my shake!
Being overprotective of my shake of strawberry
I jump out from the tree and say, "That's my shake Daddy!"
He just stands there sipping beside the fridge door
Saying, "What shake?" ere he drinks a bit more.
I give him a glare and then try not to smile
As he gives me an innocent face for a while.
I snatch it and take a few sips then I head
Back to go sleep in my warm, squishy bed.
And just before Dad leaves the Christmas tree's light
He says, "Merry Christmas! Sweet dreams and good night!"

JINGLE BELLS

Jingle Bells
Gollum Smells
Sauron wants his Ring
The ents have taken Isengard
And all the orcs can’t sing

Ooh!
Jingle Bells
Human’s smell
Gollum wants the Ring
The elves are leaving on Grey Ships
And Pippin sure can sing!

Frodo is on a trek
To destroy the one Ring
While smelly Aragorn
Is trying to become King
He’s in a love triangle
With Eowyn and Arwen
And if he’s caught then he shall be
One dead ranger-man

Oooh!
Jingle Bells
Mordor smells
Denethor’s crazy!
Gimli’s getting sea-sick
And Legolas hears the sea

Ooh!
Jingle Bells
Sauron smells
Gimli’s breath is bad
Denethor hates Faramir
And that makes his son sad.

The Witch-king thinks he’s won
But Eowyn’s no man
Sam’s tired of Lembas
Nob is a hired hand
Elrond’s brows are scary
And Haldir is not dead
Galadriel is turning blue
Now watch her spinning head!

----

Hehehe! Aah! Sooo relaxing!

Oooh, as for Jingle Bells: See how many jokes you can find it.

Anyway! I am exchanging one set of deadlines for another. Oddly enough, it's just more of the same things, but less of them. Strange our world.

Catch y'all around!
-Frank



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