Well, I've had an interesting weekend so far. I had the unique opportunity of counseling for the first time during Snow Camp. Through it I learned that if anything good ever comes of people's interactions with me, it is because of God. The end. Nothing else.
Never in my life have I felt so unprepared and in adequate for a task. Before snow camp even started, I was falling on my knees asking God for wisdom throughout the entire weekend. Once camp started, I was falling on my face begging God for wisdom and strength.
At multiple points through out the weekend... okay, for every second of the entire weekend, I was way out of my comfort zone and in previously uncharted territory. By simply signing up to counsel I flew past the end of myself and then actually going into the weekend I soared a few yards off the cliff's edge in a way I never have before. As a result, I was clinging desperately to God in a whole new way.
I had to cling to Him. All that was there for me to cling to was Him. It was scary, I'll admit, and at times I felt I was flying blind. But luckily, I don't have to be able to see.
I've been trying to think of one big lesson I learned through all this, and I can't. I want to say sustaining grace (which I saw both physically and spiritually), but I also want to say how much I have to work on. Then I am tempted to claim that I'm learning about God's timing, which is very true, but I'm not sure it's quite it. I learned/am learning a lot of things because of it all, but I feel like I'm missing the point. As if I'm too busy looking at the details to see the big picture. I've had this feeling all weekend that I'm going to find out what it is later.
That's another thing I've learned as of late; God shows us what we need to know for the time being. Never does He tell something too soon or too late. Nor does He tell us too much or too little when the time comes. I speculate that this is to test my faith in Him.
Oh, that's something else I've been learning, that God doesn't give us tests we can't pass.
So that was one unique opportunity. The second one is quite different. I was able to contrast lives. Before I came back from break, my great Aunt Lois died. At her memorial/funeral, I listened to her children and grandchildren give memories about her. It was one of the more tragic things I've ever heard. I only ever met her once, so I didn't know her hardly at all. But apparently, those who were close to her didn't either.
All the memories that were shared were about her either reading books to them or editing books about local history. To me, that was utterly tragic. To add to the sadness of it all, she wasn't saved. How utterly tragic it was to me, that this woman lived about 80 years and did virtually nothing with it that matters. All there is left of her are a few ashes and a small stack of books with a handful of withering memories about books.
I know she did things that did not involve literature, but at a memorial service for the purpose of celebrating a life, there seemed very little to celebrate. It was sad and tragic to me.
Then, last Thursday night, my great Uncle Donny went home to be with the Lord. Now, he wasn't a super Christian, never pretended to be, but he did things that counted for eternity. I knew him a bit better than I knew Aunt Lois, but I still wasn't very close. Even so, I know a bit of his testimony, I know that he has done things that last. That gives me hope! That brings me some joy and peace to know that his life was not spent in vain.
Both lives inspire me though. Aunt Lois inspires me to save the lost. She was witnessed to, but she would not listen. How many people would listen if they would only be witnessed to? Uncle Donny inspires me to do more for Christ. Again, not that he was an awesomely super and flawless Christian, but I can see what things he did that matter, and what things he did that don't matter. He was saved after he became an adult, and so I have the privilege of being able to see the emptiness of the world contrasted with the fullness of Christ in a life.
More and more I see how short time on this earth is and how vast eternity is. It motivates me to live for Christ. I'm with The Preacher when he proclaims that all is vanity.
Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.
-Ecclesiastes 12:13-14
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